joy, tears, heartache and a whole lot of love. | life after a misscarriage

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The past few weeks around our house have been filled with joy, tears, heartache and a whole lot of love. Two weeks ago we were in a car accident that while only inflicted minor physical damage resulted in minor injury and discomfort for the littles and myself. After the accident both littles experienced a few nights of terrible sleep, misalignment, discomfort and a whole lot more mama and dada snuggles. Luckily we are all on the up swing and the kids love their new carseats.

While the accident was a terrible event, little did we know that it wouldn’t be the end of hardships for us this month. I guess I should rewind a bit to a few days before the accident. We found out that we were expecting baby number three. A very exciting development that we were so looking forward to sharing but as life goes not everything works out. At least not at first. On the 23rd of December I started spotting and while I had no cramping or other signs of miscarriage I just knew. By the evening of the 24th I was bleeding more heavily and my midwife (who was heading out of town for the holiday) suggested that I go to the ER to get checked out. We were fortunate that our amazing friends were able to take Edith and Alder at the very last minute and Neil and I headed to the ER to inevitably find out exactly what we already knew.

After several hours spent in the ER it was confirmed that I indeed did miscarry at six and a half weeks. As we know all too well, nothing could have prevented this miscarriage. It was likely a chemical pregnancy and therefore the accident wouldn’t have been the cause. Nonetheless, it was still shocking and saddening.

So as you might already assume these last few weeks have been challenging for all of us. There is little time to grieve when you have two beautiful babes longing for your attention. There is also a part of Neil and I who are ready to just move on and try again. Because, as you might be wondering, this third baby is one we planned. One we want so badly to add to our little family and one that we hope will join us in the next year or so. So while there have been lots of tears and heartache this month we are looking forward to the start of the new year and the exciting adventures in expanding our family.

7 Comments

  1. Oh Lindsay, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I can’t imagine the emptiness you must be feeling, especially with wanting a third so much. I’ll be keeping your sweet family in my prayers. I don’t have any more words, but keep your head high!

  2. Oh Lindsay, I’m so sorry. That is so hard – especially with two little and over a holiday. In June (over father’s day weekend) I had a miscarriage from likely a chemical pregnancy as well. The silver lining was we could try again right away and now as you might know baby is due in March! It might sound weird but trying again helped our grieving process.

  3. Jill

    Hi lindsay. I don’t normally comment but wanted to send my love to you and your family. I went through a miscarriage last year and it is tough mentally. I got pregnant 2 months later and have a beautiful 11 month old girl! Hang in there!!

    Ps…just found your blogs and love them! Im in Portland too.

    • Thank you for commenting and for your sweet words! Congrats on your little girl! My two are a bit older but if you ever want to get together for a playdate let me know!

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