The Importance Of Date Nights

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Photo Credit: Paperfish Studios

This past weekend I found myself sitting in a dimly lit restaurant at a table for two with my husband. No kids, no distractions, just us. We enjoyed a meal that didn’t involve sticky hands, children climbing out of their chair, or racing to see if we could break our record in speed eating. We were able to sit, eat at our own pace and talk. Neil and I are lucky that talking is one of the strengths in our relationship but it isn’t until you sit down alone without the chance of distractions that you realize just how much more you have to talk about and sometimes the serious things you don’t get to talk about when your sweet littles are around. And that right there is one of the biggest reasons I think date nights are important. It’s important to be able to talk about the good, the bad and the ugly because that is what helps to make a relationship strong.

I’m not saying date nights are meant for serious convos only, it’s one of the components. The other is to have fun and remember why you got together in the first place. Taking time to nurture your relationship is important not just for the two of you but also for your little(s) because you are setting the example. If you show love and compassion and connection that only helps to teach your children those attributes.

Honestly, most weeks you can find Neil and I on the couch with our laptops, phones or tablets. We’ll check-in with each other but most of our focus is on other things or on a show that we are watching. For a while we tried to do at home date nights and we still do on occasion but the issue there is that kids often need tending to, our laptops are just a reach away and there are only so many things you can do before it starts to get repetitive and you stop having regular date nights at home or they turn into eating dinner on the couch and watching a movie which you probably would have done without the title of “datenight“.

So, now it’s time to get off the couch, get a sitter and get out for a date night. It actually took us until this Fall to really adopt this practice. Even then it was just once  per month until we realized that we needed at least two date nights a month. I honestly wish we could do one most weeks but when family lives across the country and a sitter costs $15/hour it ends up being a bit out of the budget to do more than two dates a month. Considering we only had a total of maybe 10-12 date nights and one night away from August 2012-August 2015 having two date nights a month is amazing

So, all this being said, I want you to dedicate yourself to finding a sitter and getting out at least twice a month for a special date with your partner. It doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner it could simply be coffee and a walk through your town/city. Do something that is just for you two that gives you an opportunity to connect, to talk and to re-kindle that love for each other.

 

5 Comments

  1. Having date nights to reconnect and focus is definitely an important activity to set aside and plan for – it’s too easy to keep going through your routine and talk but not really talk because you don’t have the luxury of time and non-distractions. This is true not only with your significant other, but anyone you care about such as good friends and family – it may not be 2x a month for everyone, but remind yourself to schedule that special time!

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