4th Trimester Bodies Project

I am learning to appreciate this body everyday and at very size. I am learning to appreciate this body that has experienced 3 miscarriages, carries 3 babies to term, birthed 3 amazing beings, has nursed 55 months and counting, has carried my children as bitty babies, wiggly toddlers and heavy big kids. It has hiked hundreds of miles and run races. It has been a variety of sizes, weights, and it has also been hated for so long despite all of the amazing things it has done. So while I am a still working to be happy at every size while still working on feeling stronger and confident in my body I now have these images to hold with me. I mean look how incredible my family is. Look at those sweet faces. Look at us together ❤// stay tuned for my whole story on @4thtribodies in the coming weeks ❤

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photo credit: Ashlee D Wells

We’re Expecting and We’re Having A …

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BABY!

Yes for the third time we are not finding out the sex of baby #3. While we might not be finding out it doesn’t mean we aren’t a bit curious so just like every other pregnancy we are turning to some old wives tales for predictions.

The Predictions Based on Gender Prediction Charts and Old Wives Tales:

Time of Conception: No idea .

Cravings: GIRL
It is said that if you crave sweet it’s a girl and if you crave salt you’re having a boy.  While I haven’t had any crazy cravings I have been happy to indulge in vegan soft serve and I did have a week where I couldn’t get enough watermelon.

Dreams: No dreams.
I haven’t had any gender specific dreams yet. I know that that when I was pregnant with Edith I didn’t start having any until my third trimester.

Sleeping Preference: GIRL
I have read that you prefer sleeping on your left side, you’ll have a boy and if you prefer your right side a girl. I prefer my right and always have and just find myself always switching to my right side.

Morning Sickness Severity: GIRL
Apparently extreme nausea or nausea that lingers all day means you are having a girl. This was the most extreme nausea I have ever experienced. From weeks 4-18 it was pretty much non-stop but even now at nearly 25 weeks I still have my days.

Mathematical Formula: BOY
You add your age (3+1) to your due date month (6) to your conception month (9). Odd equals boy, even equals girl. Mine adds up to 19.

The Bump Chinese Gender Predictor: BOY
I used the chart on The Bump. This one is based on your age not your lunar age.

Chinese Gender Predictor: GIRL
This test takes your Chinese Lunar Age into consideration.
Woman’s Birth Year: 1985 Month: 8 Day: 28 Time Zone: EST
Conception Year: 2014  Month: 9 Day: 25 Time Zone: PST
It’s a girl! (Chinese Age 32 at Lunar month 8)

Mayan Table: GIRL
Age of conception [ODD] + Month of conception [ODD] = Girl 

Hands- Soft or Dry?: Inconclusive 
Neil says my hands aren’t dry but they aren’t soft.

Citrus: GIRL
Apparently if you’re craving citrus, you’re having a girl.

Skin: GIRL
Apparently if your skin breaks out expect a girl. Well my skin has been TERRIBLE.  

High or Low?: Inconclusive 
I have no idea. I have also read that where you carry is based on your body type, whether you have a good set of abs before conception and pregnancy #. Since I don’t have abs and I’m on pregnancy #6 it’s hard to tell. 

Nature’s language:  GIRL
It is believed that nature communicates with humans through forms. In this case, if the mother’s womb is round, it is a girl. If it is pointed, it is a boy (source). I am feeling like I look pretty round so I guess girl?

Heart Beat: GIRL
Is Baby’s heart beat faster than 140 beats per minute (bpm)? It’s a girl. Less than 130 bpm? It’s a boy (source). Heart beat has consistently been above 130 bpm.

Gut Feeling: I want to say girl but honestly I’m always wrong. I was convinced Edith was going to be a boy and that Alder was going to be a girl .

TOTALS: 9 Girl, 2 Boy, 4 inconclusive.

What do you predict we will have? 

 

Sources:

  • http://www.home-remedies-site.com/boy-or-girl.htm
  • http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/photos_popular_pregnancy_myths
  • http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/my-baby/gender-prediction/old-wives-tales/
  • http://content.thebump.com/sitelets/chinese-gender-chart/
  • http://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/

Real Talk | The Struggle of Life, Parenthood & Anxiety

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This season of life and parenting just hasn’t been my favorite lately. I’m struggling. Struggling to stay on top of my emotions, on top of my hot temper. Struggling to find peace in the moments of chaos and frustration. Struggling to meet the needs of myself and my family. Struggling to make my home clean and comfortable which I often throw my hands up to because oreos and brushing your teeth. Literally the struggle is real right now.

I always wanted to be a kind, peaceful and carefree parent. One who can keep their composure in most any situation, one who seems to know when to speak and when to just listen and one who just radiates love in every word, every touch and every smile. I dream of being a parent like that one day. I never really thought I’d end up being a bit more cross and quick to snap. I never thought I’d end my days feeling like I have failed as a parent, like I said and did the wrong thing and wonder what do I need to do to change and to make sure I have the most nourishing and loving relationship with my children.

Lately I have had a flare up with my anxiety and have been feeling incredibly anxious about this whole PNW earthquake thing. Feeling like we aren’t prepared enough, what do I do if we aren’t home, or worst yet what do we do if Neil is at work on the other side of the river? I know for most West Coasters this isn’t a big deal it’s just a part of life but this East Coast girl is new to the whole massive earthquake thing. I’m working through my anxiety, trying to make time for meditation, using my oils that really help to ease my anxious feelings and trying to just not think about it. The thing is my anxiety over this one thing is seeping into the other aspects of my life – my children, my relationship with my husband, being social, work, and so on.

While I know much of my anxieties and the pressures I feel I created myself they are still there and it’s up to me to take control of them. It’s up to me strive for balance in life or rather strive for a life where I feel like I am fulfilling my duties as a mama, a partner, a girl boss and as a human.

I know I’ll struggle to post this because who wants to say I am struggling but the reality is I am and I know (or at least hope) I’m not alone. I’m also using this time to officially declare to you and myself that I am going to do The Orange Rhino Challenge. I keep saying I’ll read the book and follow through but I haven’t and today is my public declaration so hold me to it.

So this is life. I’m working on a lot of personal development things right now because I need to. We can all grow, develop, change and be the people we want to be. Thank you for joining me on this journey through life and parenthood.

Are you also struggling at this thing called life? parenthood? You’re not alone.

The Importance Of Date Nights

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Photo Credit: Paperfish Studios

This past weekend I found myself sitting in a dimly lit restaurant at a table for two with my husband. No kids, no distractions, just us. We enjoyed a meal that didn’t involve sticky hands, children climbing out of their chair, or racing to see if we could break our record in speed eating. We were able to sit, eat at our own pace and talk. Neil and I are lucky that talking is one of the strengths in our relationship but it isn’t until you sit down alone without the chance of distractions that you realize just how much more you have to talk about and sometimes the serious things you don’t get to talk about when your sweet littles are around. And that right there is one of the biggest reasons I think date nights are important. It’s important to be able to talk about the good, the bad and the ugly because that is what helps to make a relationship strong.

I’m not saying date nights are meant for serious convos only, it’s one of the components. The other is to have fun and remember why you got together in the first place. Taking time to nurture your relationship is important not just for the two of you but also for your little(s) because you are setting the example. If you show love and compassion and connection that only helps to teach your children those attributes.

Honestly, most weeks you can find Neil and I on the couch with our laptops, phones or tablets. We’ll check-in with each other but most of our focus is on other things or on a show that we are watching. For a while we tried to do at home date nights and we still do on occasion but the issue there is that kids often need tending to, our laptops are just a reach away and there are only so many things you can do before it starts to get repetitive and you stop having regular date nights at home or they turn into eating dinner on the couch and watching a movie which you probably would have done without the title of “datenight“.

So, now it’s time to get off the couch, get a sitter and get out for a date night. It actually took us until this Fall to really adopt this practice. Even then it was just once  per month until we realized that we needed at least two date nights a month. I honestly wish we could do one most weeks but when family lives across the country and a sitter costs $15/hour it ends up being a bit out of the budget to do more than two dates a month. Considering we only had a total of maybe 10-12 date nights and one night away from August 2012-August 2015 having two date nights a month is amazing

So, all this being said, I want you to dedicate yourself to finding a sitter and getting out at least twice a month for a special date with your partner. It doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner it could simply be coffee and a walk through your town/city. Do something that is just for you two that gives you an opportunity to connect, to talk and to re-kindle that love for each other.

 

joy, tears, heartache and a whole lot of love. | life after a misscarriage

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The past few weeks around our house have been filled with joy, tears, heartache and a whole lot of love. Two weeks ago we were in a car accident that while only inflicted minor physical damage resulted in minor injury and discomfort for the littles and myself. After the accident both littles experienced a few nights of terrible sleep, misalignment, discomfort and a whole lot more mama and dada snuggles. Luckily we are all on the up swing and the kids love their new carseats.

While the accident was a terrible event, little did we know that it wouldn’t be the end of hardships for us this month. I guess I should rewind a bit to a few days before the accident. We found out that we were expecting baby number three. A very exciting development that we were so looking forward to sharing but as life goes not everything works out. At least not at first. On the 23rd of December I started spotting and while I had no cramping or other signs of miscarriage I just knew. By the evening of the 24th I was bleeding more heavily and my midwife (who was heading out of town for the holiday) suggested that I go to the ER to get checked out. We were fortunate that our amazing friends were able to take Edith and Alder at the very last minute and Neil and I headed to the ER to inevitably find out exactly what we already knew.

After several hours spent in the ER it was confirmed that I indeed did miscarry at six and a half weeks. As we know all too well, nothing could have prevented this miscarriage. It was likely a chemical pregnancy and therefore the accident wouldn’t have been the cause. Nonetheless, it was still shocking and saddening.

So as you might already assume these last few weeks have been challenging for all of us. There is little time to grieve when you have two beautiful babes longing for your attention. There is also a part of Neil and I who are ready to just move on and try again. Because, as you might be wondering, this third baby is one we planned. One we want so badly to add to our little family and one that we hope will join us in the next year or so. So while there have been lots of tears and heartache this month we are looking forward to the start of the new year and the exciting adventures in expanding our family.