You know that saying “When it rains it pours”? Well we are in the midst of a monsoon over here. We just returned from a very busy, too busy really, weekend away. Then Neil started a new job yesterday which I am thrilled about however it is on the East Side of Portland and we are on the very far west so if any of you are familiar with Portland commuting that means he is commuting 2-3 hours/day which means he is leaving by 7:15am and isn’t home until 6pm (if we are lucky). That compounded with the fact that our house is a mess, I’m not exaggerating either it’s embarrassingly unkempt. When the UPS man comes to the door I make an effort not to open the door any further than I have to so he can’t see down our messy entry way into our messy living room.
To make matters worse or rather more challenging Edith has been sleeping terribly at night. At first I thought it was just the whole getting back from being away and being a little over tired but it happened again last night. I honestly am surprised I can even form a coherent sentence right now I’m so exhausted. Edith nursed for a good 45 minutes and then I needed a break because I mean honestly she wasn’t getting anything just nursing for comfort and after awhile it starts to get uncomfortable especially with the constant side switching. Neil took her from me so I could pee and just a have a minute to breath and she lost it. She screamed the entire time he held her and then I took her and she screamed some more. Finally she settled down and nursed again and fell asleep. I picked her up brought her to her bed and placed her down just when I thought we were in the clear she starts screaming again. At this point I am at a loss. I decide to change her diaper and see if that would help. She was so exhausted she was falling asleep on the changing table but was still having burst of screaming.
After that I decided to just take her to the office and lay down with her on the futon. Of course I forgot to bring a pillow so I fixed myself into an awkward side laying nursing position that left me with a stiff neck and sore back. Eventually she settled down again and fell asleep. I wish I could say the same for myself but I was so uncomfortable that I only managed to sleep for a few minutes at a time before needing to readjust. Finally at 2:3oam I had, had enough so I went back to bed and brought Edith with me.
I needed a break from her constant nursing, yes she was sleep nursing on the futon the entire time, so I tried to just cuddle her but she wasn’t having it. She then proceeded to scream for a good 10 minutes before Neil finally took her to the nursery and sang her a song and she finally fell asleep until about 4:50am. Then she was up and ready to come back to bed to nurse. So I brought her back to bed and groggily nursed her and eventually I fell asleep. I then woke up at around 7:15 with Edith scratching at my chest wanting more although she had been nursing non-stop since she came to bed with us. I needed a break so I snapped my nursing tank up and held her close, but again she wasn’t having it so she screamed and screamed and screamed so I finally unsnapped and she happily smashed her face into my boob. Finally 20 minutes later she was done and happy.
Here we are a few hours later and I’m barely functioning. Exhausted and trying to be positive about the day but also trying to prepare myself for another break down. Luckily she seems content to play with the empty boxes in the office and flip through the pages of Bagombo Snuff Box. Now it’s time for me to try and get our crappy scanner to work so I can send off some documents and find myself another cup or five of coffee.
How do you manage tough parenting days?
I’m sorry you’ve having a rough time. We have had a really hard week as well and are at a total loss for what to do. One night G was up for over three hours, just refusing to sleep no matter what we did!
I try to remind myself that this is temporary and that one day we will really miss this time.